18 Jul Can you “Grow Yourself Back Up?”
Growing Yourself Back Up – Understanding Emotional Regression
This is a question I sometimes get when I am working with people in counseling. The one inquiry I will usually ask them (in dealing with a certain behaviors) is “Where did you learn that?” I usually get a blank stare at first; then the light bulb goes off when they realize where they learned that behavior. We all have regressed behaviors (dysfunctional at best) that keep coming up keeping us stuck or worse, destroying relationships. We all regress….(yes, even me) to an age where we learned that this certain behavior we are demonstrating was used to adapted to the situation in our family. But as we get older, this behavior it doesn’t work anymore like it used to, especially outside the family setting. You have to grow up and stop regressing! So for the record, regression is defined as falling back toward an earlier time in life.
A book I recommend for anyone to read who may want to understand the “why to I do that” or “what’s this really about” that causes me to regress is “Growing Yourself Back Up – Understanding Emotional Regression” by John Lee.
To quote John Lee, “As we regress, we fall back toward an earlier time in life, usually childhood. Regression is what happens to us when, emotionally, we leave the present moment. In contrast staying present with yourself and others, emotionally, you are completely in the here and now, not trying to predict the future. Staying in the present is one of the greatest gifts you can to yourself – easier said than done.” Make no mistake – emotional regression is not something that happens in a therapist office, it happens all the time, so often we don’t recognize it for what it is.